Finding the positives NOT the negatives

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWrg1kUiAX4




Its really easy to focus on what we don't have rather than what we do. Take it from me, Iv'e spent the past month or so wasting time thinking about how much I hate my body, how I cant drive, how I feel so un-confident about myself, how I wish I could lead a more exciting life without worrying about everything.
 Sound familiar? Do you find you are constantly searching for some fulfillment?
 Its likely that you are actually doing pretty good in life, but we as human's and in particular us insecure lot!we are choosing to ignore those good things and concentrating on what we don't have rather than what we do have.
 So what can we do to feel better about lives and ourselves?

Its not an easy process, but acceptance is a great way of learning to let go of these unhelpful thoughts. When you choose to accept, it frees up that inner perfection that we strive for. You may have body hang ups, spend ages in front of the mirror analysing your stomach, hips or butt, saying to yourself, I hate what i see, I need to change and quick. You may wish you had the perfect social life, with friends who listen to you when you're down and give advice and cheer you up in an instant, when really they'd rather go on a hot date or hang out with friends you don't know. Or maybe you have a boss at work who just persistently gets on your nerves.
 Now, you can continue to wallow and be upset about these things, or you can accept that its the way it is. We all have things in life that we don't particularly like, but if there is no way of positively changing the issue then the only way to come to peace about it is to choose to accept it. When we learn to accept, we learn to let go of what holds us back and brings us down.

I've been feeling so un-confident lately, but I have to focus on the positives. I have a wonderful fiance, amazing family, love and a roof over my head. I'm good at caring for others, art, creativity, listening, and writing. I may not feel body satisfied but I have to choose to accept that this is me, and focus on eating well and exercising. 
 These are my positives, I need to look at how far I've come, and so do you. Chances are you too have overcome a lot of hard obstacles this year, instead of ending this year thinking "I've accomplished nothing this year and a new one is just around the corner" Maybe change that thought and put a positive spin on things "its been a hard year, but I've gained knowledge and I got through it and am stronger now". I'm anxious about the new year and what it may bring, but I'm also looking forward to the prospect of getting my life back on track. If you have goals, grab them and believe that you can reach them.
 Confidence doesn't have to come from how you look or what you have or earn. It comes from within. Listen to your inner friend and tell yourself what amazing qualities and talents you have, you'll be suprised how good you will feel when you give yourself positive affirmations and a proper pat on the back, just for being you!!!!


Positive affirmations

progress not perfection

Your faith has got to be greater than your situation! Speaking the words of life will uproot the weeds in your life that try to slow down or spoil your harvest. Take back your power!!!

I deserve to be happy

I have faith and belief in God and myself

I have the power to realise and achieve my goals

I am valuable

I deserve to succeed

I forgive myself

I have inner peace

Believe you are abundant you will create abundance.

The opinions of others doesn't matter.

Life is beautiful - your existence is stunning

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others''

Summer skepticism??! hell no!

 Spring is now fully in flourish and with the sun beating down I can feel the excitement of summer on its way. Along with the excitement comes a weirdly sick feeling deep in my stomach. This could be related to early bedtimes as a child while my friends would be out playing in our street on their bikes, or it could be because I actually don't know what summer means for me?
 Now that probably seems like such a strange question, because summer usually means BBQ's, beach trips and longer days to most of us. But for me its held a detachment for loving this season itself.
 Having suffered with anorexia since 16, my years were spent hiding my body at any cost, therefore summer being the season to bare the body, wasn't something that thrilled me in the slightest!

Almost 10 years later, and numerous hospital admissions firmly behind me. I am now faced with many questions to ask and decisions to make of where Id like my future to be heading. With the brightness of the sun beaming around I can no longer run from it, but try my best to embrace the season I have tried so long to avoid.

 To help me focus on my Summer dilemma issue, I went back to basics. In today's world it is so easy to ignore the very simple things most of us take for granted. Our "Senses"
Touch, Smell, Taste, Hearing, Seeing.

 Bright colours seem already big this season, walk down your high street and I guarantee there will be quite a few tops and chunky heels that will catch your eye! Today I treated myself to a gorgeous pair of tear drop earrings in the most outrageous of colours!  Apparently there is scientific evidence that wearing something bright enhances your mood. So with a bright summer, I aim for a bright me!

Of course with every summer comes the usual "bikini banter". I dare you to go in to your newsagents and to pick up a magazine that does not have a diet heavy plan for the "heaven sent abs and thighs", not to mention the daily exercise routine to go with!
 Now I know I may seem a bit of a condratictor in my "words of wisdom here", but bare with me! I know my nutrition! The amount of nutritionists I've seen, the amount food management groups I've sat through, and don't forget my internal encyclopaedia of calorie content in every food from varying supermarkets! I'm not saying at all that this is what you should do! This was a very ill girl, with very bad esteem and confidence. If I had known then what I do now, I'm not quite so sure I would have gotten to such a bad state....
 Anyway! what I wanted to put across is a "diet" usually sums up the idea of carrot sticks, water and salads.... Which is where the term "Nutrition" is all the more effective.
 When you have the following food groups in your daily intake of food,(Protein -e.g meats, fish, beans/pulses), Fruit+Veg), (Carbohydrates - e.g. cereal, pasta,rice,potatoes,bread) (Dairy - e.g. yogurt, cheese, milk), (Fat+Sugar- e.g. butter, olive oil, biscuits,) - the body will use what it needs and let go of what it doesn't need. The human body is a very clever thing, it will always have a set point for the weight it wants you to be, to be healthy inside and out.

I will always fret about my body, but first I have to accept it, and this summer I aim to try to do just that! I am looking forward to wearing dresses, my first proper BBQ's and swimming in the sea :)
 What does summer mean for you? If you are in the same predicament as me, it could be best to find what you appreciate from your "senses" what is pleasing to your eye?, peachy to your skin?, and perfect for your taste?, may just perk up a priceless summer!!!

The New-Year resolution burnout...

Christmas is over, we are well into 2012 and if you are anything like me, the vision of how this year will be 'amazing and stress free' is appearing slightly blurry!
 Sound familiar? Its not surprising that we enter the New Year - every year for that matter, full of good intentions, who would deny wanting to make their career, body and love life better?! 
 Now nearing to February, the good intentions seem to have fizzled, and the lack of enthusiasm just feels like too much effort. "I know I should get off my arse but this episode of "Gossip Girl" is just too good, I'll do an extra jog tomorrow" of course tomorrow never comes!! 
 Im not quite sure where the term "New Years resolution" came from, but we all know when it starts and when it ends! 
Personally I dont make resolutions for the year ahead. Being a bit of a perfectionist I found when I made these momentous decisions to change things for my future, they didnt always go the way I had planned. And very often than not they didnt happen at all. Id feel like I had failed at wanting to achieve things that were too far fetched, that I ended up wishing I hadn't made the resolution in the first place. In a way I was putting a pressure on myself that may not have been as achievable as I first thought it to be. Barely half way through the year Id look back and think " I felt like this last year, it was meant to be better by now?" . Having forgotten and not even recognised any achievements be it big or small along the way.


 It seems that we all have a ambition to better ourselves and our lives, no matter how content or happy we are. As human's its natural to feel something extra may bring a greater sense of happiness or worth. But maybe we place such a great emphasis on the end result rather than the steps along the way?


 If I decide there is a goal Id like to achieve, I break it down. I find it alot more rewarding when I accomplish a task ahead of me that will eventually give me my long term result. For example, if your goal is to get that job you have aspired to and in the ultimate location, ask yourself what are the manageable steps I need to take to get there? First you may need to have the necessary qualifications, maybe you haven't had the experience, so a voluntary job could help in that environment, maybe you have some confidence issues to work on? whatever is is that may strengthen your chances of your end result, try and section it for things you can accomplish on your way there. 


After all there are very few people who get what they want handed to them on a silver platter! Aiming for what you want and the best in life is an amazing ambition! The ultimate mecca is more than achievable for anyone, but if you jump head first in the deep end you may just sink. Start out in the shallow end gaining the strength and agility whilst swimming to the deep will help you make these great strides. You'll begin to recognise your own strengths and weaknesses on the way, seeing the improvements with each metre goal you take.Keeping your ambitions and esteem moving in this way may just land you the gold medal of life that you desire!!

There will always be a "her"..

It seems there is a divide between the female of the species. There are those that seem to lean toward their girlfriends for having a good time, the usual dvd and girly night in discussing the latest fashion styles, what hair style you should get and why your boyfriend just wont seem to pop the question. The other catergory of the female variety is the "boys girls". I myself have only recently witnessed this ultra super-woman, but talking with my friends and work collegues have come to realise that I was not alone in feeling somewhat intimidated by these remarkable females.

So who are these "boys girls", and just what is considered as a boys girl?

  The boys girl know's how to act in any situation whether it involves boys and girls, or in the higher sense if its just boys. They know how to be sexy and yet very casual, know just the right things to say, know how to giggle in the right places, are always with the boys and always treated with a huge degree of importance.
 Having always been a girly girl and most likely always will be, there is something that I just cant shrug off about this genre of women. I guiltily feel aggravated at how amazing they seem and yet at the same time very envious.
 Take my personal account of how I came to meet this boy crowder.....

  Picture the scene...first party with my new boyfriend's closest mates..and he has a lot! I cant count how many times Iv'e been at a party where I wasn't quite feeling it. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the most social of butterflies at times, its harder for some than others to adjust and relax in social situations, especially if it involves new faces and of both men and women. Being 25 id like to think I could be myself in any circumstance, however trying win over your boyfriend's mates as possibly being your mates too, appears to be harder for us more girl's girls. I mean how do you appear enthusiastic about the new x-box game or a classic gangster movie quote?! This is where my girlyness appears excessively and my mind panics! I fidget for a while and force a laugh with them, "what the hell are they going on about?! ermm just laugh Corinne laugh....they may accept you!" I tell myself.
 So in this rather anxious affair, I usually reach for another vodka and quickly text my sister for advice and a possible whinge! As I calm and the vague feeling of tipsyness runs through my anxiety ridden body. I begin to feel quite comfortable sitting back and just listening to the conversations flow, while quickly handing my brain some positive affirmations!! Suddenly there seems to a be a cuffufle, people hugging and welcoming at the door. Entering the testosterone filled lounge is possibly the prettiest girl I may have seen, wearing something I could and would probably never wear. Instantly for most of us girls, insecurity begins to take hold. I smile and politely say hello, recieving a slight warm return, quickly before "hey!! lets drink..." to 3 of the nearest men. Its strange to watch, this girl appears to have it all, its as if they all seem the best of friends. I see no outward sexual desire or dirty jokes from either parties, I think there maybe something genuine here. As they hand her the drinks and start to play drinking games, its like the party didn't start without her. She is instantly at ease with them, coming up with any topic and the guys are all ears. My earlier remarks on classic films seem failure in comparison to this chick!... They laugh hysterically with her, even with her mildly "blonde" quotes.

 Now it might seem this is all my own pre-conceptions, or my own insecurity, and to a point I would agree there is a little of that green envy hanging around somewhere! Having admittedly stalked a few of her facebook posts and photos...and maybe quotes.! this girl is the perfect" boys girl"! Hundreds of photos with boys at parties, bbq's, hell even one at my own home! Her quotes and posts seem to relate to rock, indie, swearing and sex...and with one click of her "send" button the boys are replying like dogs on heat!
 I notice that while she may be popular with what appears to be every guy on this planet, there are very few girl mates listed as friends, or in her photos. I begin to wonder if this girl actually does "have it all"?.

 I write this blog as not only me myself has come to witness this breed, but also for the familiarity it holds within other females I meet.
 Iv'e spent so long trying to be like this girl, but Iv'e never got there,Iv'e spent so long trying to figure out how can I be like her, how can I be accepted by my boyfriends male friends? what do I have to prove?.
 And then it hit me. The questions were thrown back - Do I actually want to be like her? do i really need to be so accepted by everybody?
 The answer came in a series of usual brain bafflement! The moments where I have to challenge my own emotions over my mind, my own values over others.
 In all of this wonder at these extraordinary female beings, my conclusion became plain and simple. No!!
 I have nothing to prove!
We are all different, we can all kick ass as females. We all have one amazing thing in common...we are women! we do shopping amazingly well and we know a lot more than men! Getting on better with the male species more than females and vice versa shouldn't seperate us, or make us feel any less of a person. I grew up with a sister and a family full of girls, I learnt about how to be a girl and girly in my own nature very quickly. With boys...hmmm..its has been a slower process!!
Girls will be girls and boys will boys, but who says girls cant be" boys girls", and boys cant be "girls boys"?! after all I wouldn't trade a day in my trackys, uber comfy Uggs and my boyfriends hoody for a pair of stilettos and ultra high mini!!
  So maybe next time this young male enticing lassie pops up in my Facebook, or even at the Christmas party I will not be intimidated. The little green eyed monster will not appear because acceptance gives me the peace I need within myself. I too simply will prance around in my LBD, with my boyfriend at my side. Cos after all I may be a girl's girl, but who says that's all I am?!!